The Ouija Board
by iseealivepeople
Summary: The boys play with a Oui-ja board and it leaves dire consequences
1. Chapter 1

It was a cool crisp Friday night in a small mountain town called South Park and four boys were sitting around on the floor and looking at a board game.

"Dude, this is seriously weak, no cable….weak." One of the boys, a fat one in a red shirt called Cartman complained.

"Well, we couldn't have went to my house, my dad is being all stupid again," Another little boy in a blue had called Stan said.

"Yeah, and my mom would make us go to bed before eight o clock," A kid in a green hat called Kyle said.

"Yeah dude your mom is such a bitch," Cartman said. Kyle just gave him a dirty look, he didn't feel like arguing tonight.

"So are we going to do it or not," A boy in an orange parka thingy majig called Kenny said holding up the board game. The rest of the boys gazed at it, in big green letters it said "Qui-ja board, play at your own risk.

"Hey, I've seen something about this before," Cartman said.

"No duh fat ass, it's everywhere," Kyle said.

"I don't know, what if something bad happens and something tries to kill us or something," Stan said with uncertainty in his voice.

"That only happens to British people you know like in that movie "Night of the Hells Hamsters," Cartman said sure of himself.

"Well…..okay," Stan said reluctantly, he still wasn't sure if he wanted to do this or not.

"Well, let's get to it already!" Kenny said slamming the board down on the floor.

"First we need a drop of virgin blood and we all know that the only virgin here is…Kyle," Cartman said pointing at Kyle, a look of disgust crossed his face.

"Why the hell do we need a drop of virgin blood?" He demanded.

"That's the way they did it in Night of the Hells Hamsters," Cartman said shrugging his meaty shoulders.

"Dude! don't do it off of that show, then something might try to kill us," Stan cried out with his eyes wide open in fear.

"Oh I guess if you guys don't want to participate then we can just sit here and talk about my next plan to exterminate the Jews," Cartman said rubbing his hands together.

"Okay fine whatever give me something to prick my finger with," Kyle grumbled.

"Guys. If we don't play this in the next five minutes I am seriously going to be fuckin pissed off," Kenny said slamming his fist down on the floor.

"Dude, I am so scared right now I-I need some light on here!" Stan said shrieking and flipping on the light switch.

"We haven't even started yet, plus we have to do this by candle light don't you guys know anything?" Cartman asked.

"Fine," Stan said sitting back down. Kenny clapped and the lights went back out. After a few more minutes of hustling and bustling the four boys were finally ready to start.

"It's about time," Kenny muttered as they all placed on of their fingers on the oracle.

"So we just wait for it to move?" Kyle asked.

"No you have to call on to the spirits of the underworld," Cartman said.

"All hail thee sportz garr," Cartman said in a worshiping voice with his head thrown back.

"Who is sportz garr," Kyle asked.

"I saw it on Night of the Hells Hamsters," Cartman said smugly.

"Dude you did not just do that gah I don't want any evil hamsters coming after me!" Stan shrieked.

"Don't…..move," Kenny warned as Stan was fixing to take his finger off the oracle.

"Oh my gosh! The oracle is moving!" Stan cried out.

"Fat ass stop moving the oracle," Kyle said angrily.

"It's not me you buttfuckin Jew," Cartman said just as angry.

"Everyone take your hands off the oracle," Kenny demanded. The other three boys did as they were told and to their utter shock the oracle was still moving.

"Told you it wasn't me," Cartman muttered.

"Dude what the hell, I'm outta here," Stan said. Before he could reach the door though, it slammed shut.

"What the hell," He said pulling on the door knob, it wouldn't budge.

"What the hell," He repeated kicking the door. He soon realised that there was no way out. Just as he was about to sit back down, the candles flickered out leaving them in total darkness.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Sorry for the late late late post! I had accidentally wrote it in Swedish without realizing it sooo I had to re-write it anyways, here is chapter two. Also, if for some weird reason it bolds or underlines or something weird like that I did not mean to do that, it just happens. Anyways, thank you to ever reviews this and sorry about my mistake on Oui-ja board in the previous chapter. **

Stan opened his eyes and groaned at the blinding sunlight that was peering through the blinds, he looked around and saw that Kyle, Cartman and Kenny weren't there. As he looked around some more he noticed something peculiar, this wasn't his room. That's odd, he thought to himself walking up to the bedroom mirror. When he peered in it what he saw made him scream out in shock, staring back at him was the face of his super best friend.

"This is so weird," He muttered quietly to himself.

"Are you up Kyle?" Stan heard Kyle's mom yell from downstairs.

"Yes Mrs. Bro-," He started to say but then he caught himself.

"Yes Mom," He said knowing that there would be no use telling her, the adults never believed them anyways.

"Well okay hurry up and get up you don't want to be late!" She called again.

"Late for what?" He called back down.

"For your doctor's appointment!" She yelled. Stan gulped, he hated doctors, and hospitals and anything in that category, this was the last place he wanted to be.

"I uh feel fine!"

"This is just for a check up now come on you don't want to be late!" Stan sighed because he knew that there would be know way out of this, he hated how the doctors nearly gagged him with that wooden stick and how they poked things in his ears and nose whenever he went for a check up.

"Come on now Kyle!" He heard Kyle's mom shout, reluctantly he pulled on some clothes and went downstairs to go to his most hated place.

____________

"Ah how nice it is to see you again Kyle," The doctor said grinning cheerfully. Stan just scowled back at him, he knew all about their dirty tricks and their fake cheerfulness.

"Now open your mouth and say ahhh," The doctor said pulling out a wooden stick.

"No," Stan replied shaking his head.

"Do it now Kyle," Kyle's mom said sternly.

"No he's going to choke me with that thing,"

"No I'm not, this isn't going to hurt a bit,"

"Yes it will! I have had this done before!" Stan exclaimed. The doctor sighed and turned to Kyle's mom.

"It looks like he isn't going to give in," He said.

"I don't understand it, Kyle has never had trouble at the doctor's before," Kyle's replied.

"I was thinking the same thing, maybe it's his allergies, here take these and tell him to take one in the morning and one before going to bed," The doctor said handing her a bottle of pills.

"I'm be sure to do that," She said taking the pills.

"Come on Kyle," She added turning to Stan. Stan jumped off the table happily, he had gotten out of having a big wooden stick shoved down his throat.

_____

"Remember what the doctor said," Kyle's mom said when they got home.

"Yes Mrs. Bro-, Mom," Stan said.

"Well, I am going to go watch my soaps now, go outside and play but be back before dark," Kyle's mom said.

"Yes Mom," Stan sighed and went outside, suddenly a thought hit him, if he changed did that mean the others change too?

"Wait if I'm Kyle then that must mean that Kyle is me," He muttered aloud to himself. Stan decided to go take a trip to his own house to see who the real him was. The walk wasn't that far since Kyle lived right next to him. When Stan got to his house he eagerly hopped onto the porch and rang the door bell. He waited a few minutes before the door finally opened and he was happy to see his own body in the flesh.

"We need to talk dude," Stan said making his way through.

"About?" His body asked.

"Kyle, don't play dumb we need a way to fix this," Stan said.

"I'm not Kyle," His body said shoving him out of his own house and slamming the door in his face.


	3. Chapter 3

Kenny woke up and he noticed something different, his bed was higher off the ground than usual. He looked down and noticed that this wasn't his room at all, he was in Stan's room.

"Okay those assholes better come out of the closet or else," Kenny muttered opening the closet, he was greeted by Stan's football falling on his head.

"Well shit," He said when he saw they weren't in there. He was fixing to go downstairs to get some breakfast when Stan's mom yelled,

"Stan the phone is for you!" "I'm not-," Kenny started to yell out but he stopped when he realised that his voice, was different, he sounded like Stan. He quickly hurried to the mirror and what he saw made him gasp out in shock, he was Stan.

"Now Stanly!" His mom called again.

"Coming!" He yelled sliding down the banister and grabbing the phone.

"Hel-lo?" He said.

"Hey Stan," The caller at the other end of the line said.

"Oh Wendy, hi," Kenny replied.

"Meet me at Stark's pond," Wendy said.

"I'll be there," Kenny said hanging up and running out the door. When he got there he was happy to see Wendy already waiting for him.

"Hi!" She exclaimed jumping on him and kissing him, Kenny kissed her back happily, he had liked Wendy for a long time and now he was finally able to do stuff with her since he was in her boyfriend's body. He wondered if Stan had changed into his, not that he cared though, whoever stole his life from him could keep it.

"Well, I have to go now, I just had to blow off some steam," Wendy said getting up to walk back home.

"I'm glad you did," Kenny replied kissing her hard on the mouth.

"Wow Stan I've never seen you this eager before," Wendy said.

"Well there must be a full moon tonight," Kenny replied with a wink. Wendy smiled and started back to her house.

___________

Kenny was upstairs in Stan's room playing on his computer when he heard the door bell ring, he answered it and wasn't surprised to see Kyle standing there.

"We need to talk dude," Kyle said shoving himself right in.

"About?" Kenny asked.

"Kyle don't play dumb we need to fix this," Kyle said. Wait, if he's not Kyle and he's over here then that must he must be Stan looking to get his body back. Kenny thought to himself.

"I'm not Kyle," Kenny said shoving the Kyle Stan out of his house and slamming the door. He hadn't meant to be so rude to Stan but he wanted Wendy, forever.


	4. Chapter 4

"Gosh this house smells like ass," Cartman muttered when he first woke up.

"Meem the house smells!" He whined.

"Deal with it Kenny things don't come free in life!" He heard Kenny's mom yell. What the? He thought to himself looking around, he saw that he was in Kenny's room and the other three were not to be found.

"Those sonsofabitches who do they think they are leaving me in this shit hole all by myself," He muttered to himself. He got off the bed and went outside to pay a little visit to his friends, he decided to go to Kyle's house first.

"Hey Kenny," A girl called out waving too him. Wow I must really smell bad if they think I'm Kenny. Cartman thought to himself and then he saw his reflection in a store window and what he saw made him gasp out in shock not only did he smell like Kenny but he looked like him.

"I bet this is another one of Kyle's dirty Jew tricks," Cartman said angrily. Then he quickened his pace to Kyle's house. When he finally got there he hopped up onto the porch and rung the door bell, he was greeted by no other than Kyle himself.

"Listen you dirty Jew you better fix this right now!" He said pushing his way in.

"Cartman?" Kyle asked.

"Well duh it's me you stupid Jew you should know you're the one who did this to me," Cartman replied.

"Well if you're in Kenny's body and Kyle isn't in mine that must mean Kenny is in my body," Stan said with his face white with shock.

"What the hell are you talking about Jew?" Cartman asked with irritation.

"Then that means that Kenny will probably seduce Wendy and maybe even take her virginity!" Stan added on.

"The fuck since when do you care about Stan's hippie girlfriend?"

"I am Stan!"

"You look like Kyle to me,"

"I know when we played Oui-ja last night something must have happened that made us switch bodies, so far we know that I'm in Kyle's body, you're in Kenny's and Kenny is in mine, so that must mean that Kyle is in your body,"

"That son of a bitch," Cartman said glaring.

"It's no his fault," Stan said.

"Yes it is I just know that this is one of his dirty Jew tricks,"

"Why would he want to be you fat ass?"

"To ruin my life or something," Cartman replied.

"That doesn't matter right now, all that matters is that we have to go get the other two and tell them to meet up at Stark's pond, we'll go to my house first and get Kenny since it's closer," Stan said. They started walking down the street to Stan's house and when they got there Stan didn't bother to knock and what he saw when he got in there made him gasp out in shock, on the couch were Wendy and Kenny in his body making out.

"And just when you thought someone was your friend," He muttered walking back out the door with Cartman in Kenny's body on his heels.

"Aren't you going to stop him and smack him up the head or something?" Cartman asked.

"As much as I'd love to I cant I don't want Wendy thinking anything weird," Stan replied. They then started walking down to Cartman's house and what they saw made them gasp out in shock, on Cartman's front lawn was Cartman's body wearing a pink skirt with a white shirt with heavy pink eye shadow and dark red lipstick and blush that would put a clown to shame.

"That son of a bitch!" Cartman yelled out.


	5. Chapter 5

**Kyle woke up to the smell of cheesy poofs and he automatically knew something was up.**

"**Ugh did fat ass sneak into my room again last night?" Kyle grumbled to himself. He then remembered that they had spent the night at Kenny's house last night. **

"**Hey guys," He said when he didn't get an answer he opened his eyes and gasped in shock at what he saw, he was in Cartman's room. **

"**Alright fat ass this isn't funny," He said getting up to go to the closet to see if Cartman was hiding in there. While he was walking towards the closet something caught his eyes, his reflection in the mirror wasn't his own….it was Cartman's. **

"**Fucking fat ass you always have to ruin my fucking life!" He cried out angrily hitting the dresser in frustration. He hated the way Cartman looked and the fact that he had to bribe people to be his friend, he never wanted to be like that…ever. Suddenly an idea formed in his evil little head, maybe this wouldn't be such a bad idea, this would give him the chance to totally humiliate Cartman. This is genius, he thought to himself rubbing his hands together, first he would start out small and then he would get more intense as time went on. He went to Cartman's mom's closet and pulled out a pink skirt with a white lacey shirt and put them on along with pink 2 inch pumps, then he went to the medicine cabinet where Cartman's mom kept her make-up and applied a heavy dosage of pink eye shadow on his eyelids, he brushed the brush full of rouge blush furiously over his cheeks giving himself a clown impression and then he spread some dark red lipstick on his lips giving himself even more of a clown look. Kyle chuckled to himself when he saw Cartman's made up reflection in the mirror. Well this is one way to make the best out of a bad situation he thought to himself. He looked at himself once more before turning off the light and grabbing Cartman's boom box and walking outside. He smiled when he heard the song that started drifting out of the speakers as soon as he turned it on, Online by Brad Paisley, it was definitely Cartman's theme song. He was dancing to the music and he was just to the part where Brad was singing about the marching band when he heard Kenny yell out. **

"**What the hell do you think you're doing Jew!" He screeched shaking him by his shirt. **

"**What are you doing Kenny?" He asked cocking an eyebrow.**

"**Don't play stupid you did this didn't you made us switch bodies!" **

"**No I didn't!"**

"**Why the hell are you making me look all stupid?" Kenny asked changing the subject.**

"**You are stupid fat ass," Kyle replied suddenly realizing who Kenny really was. **

"**You guys stop fighting so we can go talk about how to fix this," Stan interrupted them. Kyle pondered for a minute, he wanted his old body back but then again he still wanted to humiliate Cartman some more. **

"**I don't want to change back!" Kyle exclaimed suddenly running off before either one of them could catch him. Stan sighed and turned to Cartman. **

"**Well we already know that Kenny doesn't want to change back and it's pretty clear that Kyle doesn't want to change back right now either," Stan sighed. **

"**Yeah it's just like when we turned into girls that one time," Cartman muttered. **

"**So it's just the two of us again, trying to figure out how get our old bodies back," Stan said. **

"**Wait how did you turn back into a boy?" Stan asked remembering the cure to be able to be a boy again. **

"**That is a secret you will never know," Cartman replied with a smirk. **


End file.
